Wooly Bully

Bully Calls News Anchor Fat, News Anchor Destroys Him On Live TV

Last week I watched this video spread like wildfire.  Every national news program covered the story.  After reading all the positive exclamations from friends and the intriguing title, I was excited to watch this news anchor, Jennifer Livingston, ‘destroy’ this bully.  However, I found I had several exclamations of my own creeping through my head, yet not along the same lines as the ones I was reading.

 

I am surprised by this video.  I do not see bullying in the email she received.  There was no name calling.  There was no implication of threat or harm.  There was only a man calmly and (what he thought was) considerately expressing concern.  Concern based on facts and statistics no less.

 

Contrarily, I am more put off by her response.  I find the fact that she used her position in the media to publicly paste a label on someone else and publicize a personal email sent in confidence in order to make an example out of him far more “bullying” than the original inciting email.  I’ll tell you why this jumps out at me as more problematic than the man’s inane email.

 

If there is one thing I’ve learned about society it’s that everything shifts in correlations.  We are all intertwined.  Therefore, one aspect cannot change without triggering another change elsewhere.  A decrease in finances/economics accompanies an increase in crime rate.  A sexual revolution increases sexual freedom which also increases birth rates and sexually transmitted diseases.  Etc.  There is always an ebb and flow.

 

In this case, I am noticing that as the promotion for anti-bullying gains ground, a propensity for claimed victimhood is also gaining ground, i.e., people are quicker to proclaim themselves as victims because they now have an anti-bullying campaign to back them up.  This is of great concern to me because victimhood can potentially be more hazardous than bullying.  Bullying comes from the outside, victimhood comes from within.  One is escapable, the other is not.

 

Sometimes, the truth hurts.  That doesn’t necessarily make it bullying.  Medically speaking, her body size is in an unhealthy range.  She admits this herself.  Even if the pounds are largely the result of a thyroid condition, this still statistically puts her at a higher risk for diabetes, heart disease, and a multitude of other health problems.  The man was not unjustified in his “dangerous habit” and “healthy lifestyle” statements.

 

I absolutely understand the pain she must have felt reading his email.  I absolutely feel she’s entitled to be hurt and angered by it.  However, I also feel she was too quick to don the victim cape at the behest of her husband and coworkers.  Pointing the finger and burning him at the media stake may not have been the most appropriate choice.

 

Mrs. Livingston has subsequently said that she spoke out because even one time is too many for someone to say you should be ashamed of yourself.

 

“I think we all have that one guy or one girl who tries to make you feel less than you are; who tries to put you in a box and slap a label on it and tell you you’re not worthy.  And, it’s not about him for me.  It’s about all the people like that in society that are using the internet, that are using Twitter, that are using Facebook to try and bring people down and make them feel bad about themselves.”

 

What about an anchor using her local news channel to put a man in a box, slap the label of bully on it, and tell him he should be ashamed and feel bad about himself?

 

Let me make it clear that in NO WAY am I in favor or support of bullying.  There are so many wonderful and true things Jennifer has said that I hope people do take to heart.  However, in my opinion, his email did not reach the bullying threshold.  In fact, I believe his email ALSO stems from victimhood.

 

His words may have been hurtful, but I would synopsize the intent behind his email as “Losing my loved ones or seeing them suffer frightens me and causes me pain.  I know that medically and statistically being overweight is unhealthy.  I am worried if my loved ones see a happy, professional, successful overweight person like you they will choose a path I believe to be a poor, detrimental, painful choice.”

 

I’m reading between the lines, but I imagine this is a man who has experienced or had someone close to him experience obesity complications.  His email originates from seeing himself as a victim who desperately wishes to avoid being further victimized.  Does that make it okay for him to project his victimized fears onto someone else?  Absolutely not.  Does it make it okay for him to authoritatively advise someone else—particularly a person he doesn’t know—how to live her life?  Absolutely not.  But, does it make him a bully?  In this case, no.

 

The man should never have sent the email in the first place.  If he is concerned about the community’s young people then he should work on his own to educate them about healthy lifestyles, i.e., do something productive and not complacently take it out on a news anchor who—regardless of size—provides the community with an example of a polished, educated, professional woman.

 

Likewise, although it’s brought fame, recognition, and vast amounts of emotional and (no doubt some financial) support, the news anchor’s on-air reciprocation was probably not the most correct choice.

 

The words of her response are strong and filled with support for viewers.  She admonishes awareness, education, and good examples.  This, I agree with.  However, she also speaks about behavior being learned and I fear the nonverbal and more strident lesson she teaches is false victimization.

 

Victimhood is dangerously problematic because it is usually accompanied by displacing blame and a feeling of helplessness.  A victim is complacent in their circumstance, and complacency is stagnant and nonproductive.

 

It’s just my opinion, but I think a more appropriately empowering approach would have been to demonstrate the effect of his words and then discuss how to overcome the pain and use the experience to grow and strengthen.

 

The country won’t remember her words.  Words fade.  They become paraphrased and jumbled.  What they will remember is the situation; they will remember this woman taking a stand.  After seeing the way the country has rallied behind her, I’m worried the lesson we’re walking away with is to label someone a bully anytime our feelings get hurt.  While I don’t support bullying, I also don’t support witch hunts.

 

Words, labels, actions…they can all carry significant consequences—positive or negative.  The paramountcy of using them accurately and well-placed is not something to be taken lightly (yes, I used that catchphrase because of the topical context).