Lashing Out at Lance: Thoughts on Getting a Leg Up

Lance Armstrong came out and finally admitted he was doping and using illegal drugs during his illustrious career.

First, whenever somebody comes clean I feel relief. I do not feel anger, or betrayal, or judgment… I feel relief. I don’t know if it’s because I’m empathizing with the person, or my white soul connects with them, or because I just perceive an overall settling in the mood/situation. Regardless, it is one of my favorite things.

As for the rest…

Long before Lance’s confession, a doped up portrait of the cycling community had already been painted (I envision something in the vein of Van Gogh). Cycling teammates and competitors alike said that everyone was doing it, including Lance. Lance, himself, said it was so prevalent he did not believe it was possible to win without taking these extra steps.

“I went and looked up--I just looked up the definition of cheat. And, the definition of cheat is to gain an advantage on a rival or foe that they don’t have. I didn’t view it that way. I viewed it as a level playing field.”

Lists of testimonies and failed drug tests corroborate the truthfulness of his statement. The entirety of the cycling community was doping. Another quote makes most people uneasy, but stands out to me as further proof the cycling environment was dopey.

Oprah: Was is a big deal to you? Did it feel wrong?

Lance: At the time? No.

Oprah: It did not even feel wrong.

Lance: No. Scary.

Oprah: Did you feel bad about it?

Lance: No. Even scarier.

Oprah: Did you feel in any way that you were cheating?

Lance: No. Scariest.

Even though the build from scary to scarier to scariest works as a nice gimmick, the last two questions are irrelevant: why would he feel bad about something he didn‘t feel was wrong? And, if he felt he was cheating then he probably would have felt it was wrong and consequently felt bad about it.

Some people may read this and only see it as an example of a deplorable erosion of ethics. And though part of the problematic environment, I cannot give Lance credit for creating it. The blame is not solely his. What this quote reveals to me is not a lack of ethics or morals in Mr. Armstrong, but a demonstration of how commonplace the behavior was; natural enough to feel normal, at ease, at home. Blame him for adapting to the environment if you must find something. But, I do not think it wise as we all have experience adapting to our environments.

Perhaps it’s because both institutions have facades built off hopes, dreams, perseverance, and stories too good to be true, while the inside day-to-day operations run on deceit, exploitation, fear, and favoritism, but I can’t help draw comparisons between Lance Armstrong’s career and my own line of business. Natural talent will only get you a foot in the door. From there, it is all about who you know and what you’re willing to do to get where you want to go: networking, rubbing elbows with supervisors, buying the boss a Christmas gift, emails of gratitude, dropping a bug in someone’s ear, using people to meet people who know people.

This is business. This is how work works. I see people when-in-Rome-ing every day. I guarantee it’s not uncommon in any workplace. Cycling utilizes less stationary, but it is still a business. Substitute networking, rubbing elbows, and gifting with blood doping, EPO, and human-growth hormone usage and we’re talking about the same thing. The words may be different, but the behavior is congruent. It’s not even about getting a leg up on the competition (although in the cycling world it quite literally does involve getting a leg up, repeatedly). People will do what is necessary not to be left behind. Just how far will people go to level the playing field? Well…ask any minority group. Since workplace equality has been a topic of discussion, how about women of the 1970s breaking through the glass ceiling with judicial law for example?

I’ve read articles chiding Lance for taking the cliff defense; it’s unacceptable and not good enough. But, unleash the news Martha Stewart is emptying out her shares and see just how fast the rest of the stock market flings themselves over the cliff. Cliff diving is an encompassing aspect of any social network, work or otherwise. Why should it be any different for cycling? If this behavior is so commonplace and so accepted elsewhere, why hold cycling--and, specifically Lance Armstrong--to a higher standard under the threat of reproach?

Because cycling is different! Sportsmanship! A finish line isn’t as compelling as a bottom line!

The fact of the matter is, in business, strides taken to level the playing field are not against regulations; doping in athletics is. Lance knew it was against regulations, therefore, he should have been wallowing in guilt when it was happening and should be looking back at it now with the most sorrowful of remorse.

In that case, I too have a confession:

Yesterday, I exceeded the speed limit. I know it’s against regulations, but I did it anyway. Did it feel wrong? Nope. Did I feel bad about it? Can’t say I did. Did I feel like I was cheating? Not at all; the car I was following still made it to the parking lot before me. Huh. He must have been exceeding the speed limit too!

And last night, while walking with a group of people, I crossed the street where it was convenient even though I could see a crosswalk from where I was. Perhaps I’m just utilizing the cliff defense, but--despite also being against regulations--I honestly didn’t think anything of it.

Boy, I ought to be banned from driving AND walking for life!! I may even be unfit to roll myself from place to place like a log. I deserve a hermit existence sans all transportation! Sound a bit ridiculous? It’s not. We both broke regulations we know are in place, and did so with such ease we didn’t even feel bad about it. Our behavior is the same.

I’m not saying what Lance did was right, or we should slough it off, or that it doesn’t deserve punishment (which he has received). I’m just saying that it’s understandable. Understanding does not eliminate consequences. But, it does promote peace, love, unity, kindness, and all those other desirable qualities I see tweeted between quotation marks around national holidays or anytime someone takes a gun to a public place.

*I specifically write this in reference to his doping and not to the bullying accusations. The suing, name calling, and destroying lives and reputations of those who threatened to turn him in or bring him down is still understandable to me (like a mother protecting her young, or lashing out at a friend you feel has betrayed you), but it’s definitely more significant and heinous behavior. Also, I read an article that pointed out how egocentric Lance has been, even when “apologizing.” I concur with this assessment and find it more troubling and less forgivable than other behaviors.

**Let’s still remember this man (and specifically the Livestrong charity he founded) has done a lot of good for a lot of people. And--even though he was doping--he was still beating out all the other dopers. The races he was competing in were filled with fellow dopers who were not coming in first, which still makes his 7-year winning streak pretty remarkable.

It's the End of the World as We Know It

I sit here and read post after post of nostalgic 2012 reflections. Here’s the thing…

When I think of 2012...all that comes to mind is that it was supposed to end. We were supposed to go out in a blaze of glory. Yet, here we are making resolutions (and by making resolutions I mostly mean wishing ourselves growth, prosperity, and better times) in 2013.

I’m a little bit upset. I’ve put 20+ years of good, hard work into this world just to lose my retirement package at the finish line!? You see… I may have put all my eggs in a Mayan basket. A basket the hokey, mocking Mayans are now enjoying like an Easter goldmine. Their practical little end-of-the-world joke has essentially stolen my retirement fund the same way college education stole my pre-retirement fund and my virginity! (I’m kidding about one of those two things)

When asked what I wanted to be when I grow up, I shrugged my shoulders. When given an occupational placement test in middle school, I chose answers willy-nilly. When told to choose a college major I picked LIFE. None of it mattered because I only needed to make it to 2012. 2012 was the goal. I knew whatever I did--pig farming, NFL, hired companion--I could at least get by that long. And after that, it didn’t matter.
Now, I actually have to look into careers and retirement, being an adult and building a life for myself, planning for the future…

It’s all very unappealing.

Speaking of appealing--now that I’m on the career path--what do you think the attendance rate to see Niko’s Spellbinding Shimmer Show Dogs would be?

*sigh* Ah, forget it! I bet people would come if the MAYANS endorsed it. People will believe anything those ancient Oprahs say.

**Important to Note: I use Mayans referring to the Maya civilization of southern Mexico and Northern Central America, not in reference to fan groups and die-hard groupies of notorious author, Maya Angelou.