During the whole month of October, my friend makes a pot of soup and plays scary movies at her house every Sunday night.

She has bad knees and they’ve particularly been hurting her lately. This is how my exit scene played out when I was leaving her scary Sunday soiree:

Her: Thank you for coming. I’m sorry; I should get up to say goodbye to you.

Me: No, no, no! I should be the one to get up for you! (I realize an incidental emphasis on the word ‘up’ and an ill-timed finger point have horribly misconstrued my intent)

(Pause. Yep. That just happened. Everybody laughed!)

Me (pulling a George Costanza): Alright! That’s it for me! Goodnight, everybody!

(backing toward the staircase)

Love you all!!!

(shouting back down the staircase)

….to varying degrees.